Pig
Writes:
Hey
there Piglets, yes, yes, yes, it’s me again. I have a new update
for you. Are you ready for this? Here we go. In my last post I told
ya’ll how Rainman (in his age of wisdom) forgot to renew his Texas
drivers’ license. And now it is time to tell you what happened at
the DMV As ya’ll know, at the DMV they have state troopers hanging
out in the back room. They wait for dumb butts who walk in with
warrants on their records and try to renew their license. They also
wait there for the ones who drive
up with a expired license
too. And since Rainman has been driving for the past few weeks on an
expired license…
I
wanted to go with him over to the DMV just to watch the show. You
know the one; it is where the cop gives you the demonstration of how
to properly apply his baton to the back of Rainman’s head. That
happens just before he properly applies the handcuffs. Having
personally been in that situation, I knew I would enjoy seeing it
happen to Rainman for the first time.
Now I
know what you all are thinking. “Shame on you Pig for wanting to
see your best friend be treated like that.” Yeah, yeah, I know.
But it’s like this, Rainman is always telling me to behave. He
never wants to let me get into trouble. There is no fun in good
behavior. And once, just once, I would like for him to see and feel
what I go through. OK, now with that said, here we go.
That
day I went to work with Rainman and at lunch time he would head over
to the DMV. Along the way there, I convinced him to stop and get me
some lunch since once he was arrested; I knew it would be a while til
I get to eat again. When we got to the DMV I stayed out in the truck
while he went inside. I could see through the window he would be
waiting in line a while so I finished my burger.
When
it was his turn, I went up to the glass to watch. I would have gone
inside but the sign on the door said “No Pets”, I didn’t want
to push my luck. Chewing on some now cold fries, I watched and
waited for the state trooper to come out as Rainman went to the front
counter. He handed the girl his expired license. Yeap, any minute
now that cop will come out.
Instead
the girl handed him the card back with another piece of paper to fill
out. They must wait with the cop to give Rainman a chance to fill
out the “What to do with the dead body” form.
Rainman
walked over to another table and began to fill the form out. This
was much better, that must be where they will arrest him, it is right
in front of everyone there. It was perfect to make an example of
him.
I
waited, still no cop yet.
Then
Rainman went over to another counter. Ahhh, so that’s where they
will do it. He was greeted by a smiling lady. That’s a trick they
use. They smile at you to make you feel at ease for the coming doom.
Wait
for it…
Any
minute now that cop will come busting out the door and smack him on
the head. I was on pins and needles waiting.
Wait
for it…
Now he
is looking in something that looks like a microscope, he is still
talking to her.
Now he
is pulling out his wallet. Maybe he has to empty his pockets.
No,
now he is handing her money, OMG he’s paying her off to stay out of
jail. Wait a minute, that sure is a cheap payoff.
W.T.H.
She just handed him back his license along with another piece of
paper. He’s still smiling. Here he comes. But…, but…, where
the cops?
“Come
on Pig, we’re done here.” He said walking to the truck.
“Hey,
what’s the deal here?” “Why weren’t you arrested in there?”
Pig, I
tried to tell you before, I only needed to renew my license, Come on
Dude, let’s go.”
Awe
Man, where the fun in that?
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