Another Christmas Story The Conclusion

Pig Writes:

Later that night Christmas Eve, we sat by the fire sipping on some Christmas cheer.

I felt depressed and let down for the old craftsman.

I felt an empty hole deep inside of me.

But then my old friend spoke up and said “There is more to Christmas than just presents, Pig. I knew before I even took that toy box over there she wouldn't like it.”

Then why did you do it? Why go through all that trouble and expense?

A smile came across his face, one that warmed the room. I could feel peace in the air. “I learned a long, long time ago you came never outgive the greatest gift ever given” he said.

Christmas is not about presents, or trees, lights and decorations. Christmas is about the one present God gave each of us, His son, Jesus Christ. That is the greatest gift ever given.

It says in John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only son for those who believe in Him will have everlasting life.

That woman has spent her whole life busy trying to keep up with the Jones. She has lost any clue as to what Christmas is all about.

I built that toy box for my nephew, not for her. What she wanted was a high dollar piece of furniture to make her house look good. But it was not for her.

A hand made present has more meaning than any store bought present ever could. It means that you care enough about that person to spend time doing something nice for them.

I have received lots of Christmas presents through the years. Right now I cannot remember but only a few of them. But what I do remember is the Christmas gatherings and time I spent with family and friends. That means more to me than any present ever could.

Christmas is about our love for one another. It's not about all that psycho baloney “Oh, I didn't get the G.I. Joe with the kung foo grip for Christmas and now I am scarred for life and it's all your fault”.

There was a pause as we both took a good long drag off of our Christmas cheer.

Then he said, “Pig, I want to learn to live your life by three little words.”

“OK, hit me.”

“Live, Laugh, Love” he said to me.

Live your life to the fullest each day as if it was your last.

Laugh with all of your might at everything funny.

Love with all your heart and all your soul.

There was another pause as I soaked in the words he had just spoken to me.

I looked at him and he smiled back at me. “Does this mean you won't like my Christmas present to you?”

“What did you buy me Pig?”

“A six pack of beer.”

“Well then break it out and we'll share it together my little pink friend” he said with a boisterous laugh as he gave me a hug. I have to admit, sitting by the fire with my best friend just talking and laughing. Well, that beer tasted pretty darn good to me.

Merry Christmas Everybody

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

Another Christmas Story Part Two

Another Christmas Story Part Two

Pig Writes

A whole week went by and the materials sat there in the shop. Not a tool was pulled off the shelf nor a pencil sharpened.

His mind raged on in battle as to why he must face this task.

A task for a nephew he never met, for a sister-in-law he could not tolerate.

She cut him down in the past for his beliefs forged in the “old school” ways. He learned it was better to keep the peace, to mind his own business and keep to himself.

Now he is tasked to build something for the one person he despised the most.

The plan to build the toy box was simple, a few cuts of wood, a dab of glue along with a few screws and the toy box would be put together in a few hours. Yet he could not bring himself to the shop and start the project.

His heart was not in it.

His heart was not in it for all the wrong reasons.

It wasn't the nephew's fault.

But then Friday came with news of a horrible tragedy.

Twenty children and six adults would lose their lives to a madman.

The laughter silenced. The joy gone.

Those left behind will bear great pain for their loss.

Something changed inside the man's mind. There was now movement in his heart.

Early that Saturday morning the work had begun. The tools of his craft were dusted off, cleaned and oiled. Blades were sharpened. Everything was ready to go.

I watched off to the side as the man got busy with his work. What he did once before as a young man now was a bit harder for him to do. The paunch of his fat belly strained his back, his tired eyes required prescription glasses instead of safety glasses. It was most certain he was not the same young man as long ago.

I watched as he toiled to make measurements and cuts. His written plans and drawings were more like notes scratched on paper to serve as reminders to him. The plan in his head being transferred to his hands. It didn't take long before the raw materials began to take shape of a toy box. He continued working throughout the day. Only stopping for the occasional smoke break and a drink of his Dr. Pepper.

I asked him once during the day why he was going through all this work if he really didn't want to. His only reply was “I have my reason.”

Singular.

That meant only one reason why.

I pondered as to what that one reason was.

At the end of the day the mans wife came out to the shop to see the progress made.

A smile grew on her face for she was pleased in what she saw.

Before her stood a grand toy box and shelf.

The wood was bare, the edges were rough-like the man who built it.

She loved him with all of her heart.

After a pause, the wife looked at her husband and asked “Where will the stars go?”

“Stars?”, the man & I looked at each other, “What stars?”

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig.

Another Christmas Story

Another Christmas Story

Part One

Pig Writes.

Long, long ago there was a young man who had desires to be a woodworker.

He was creative. He learned many things from his father.

He learned how to use tools safely and how to care for them.

He learned his craft true and straight like the cuts he made into the wood he used. Better yet, like a true craftsman, he learned how to hide his mistakes.

The young man made all sorts of things, from wooden toys to shelves and even furniture. For he was good at his craft.

People from all around wanted him to build things for them.

But then one day, he put his tools down and stored them away. People had changed. They didn't want to pay him what he was owed for his services. They all seemed to take advantage of him for his craft.

The love of his craft was gone. The young man no longer enjoyed what he did.

That was many years ago.

Recently there was a birth of a nephew in the family and Christmas would soon arrive.

The man was asked by his wife to build a toy box for the new nephew as a Christmas present.

At first the man said “No!”. But his wife knew how to push his buttons to convince him to say “Yes”. The poor guy never stood a chance. Broken down and ashamed I heard him mutter “OK, I'll do it”.

He would agree to build a toy box for the new nephew, but not for the sister-in-law who could not bear to stand in the same room as him.

What was going through his mind at that moment, I would not know.

I wasn't sure as to why he would agree to build something his heart was not into.

I would learn why soon enough.

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

Rainman Gets Arrested

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets, yes, yes, yes, it’s me again. I have a new update for you. Are you ready for this? Here we go. In my last post I told ya’ll how Rainman (in his age of wisdom) forgot to renew his Texas drivers’ license. And now it is time to tell you what happened at the DMV As ya’ll know, at the DMV they have state troopers hanging out in the back room. They wait for dumb butts who walk in with warrants on their records and try to renew their license. They also wait there for the ones who drive up with a expired license too. And since Rainman has been driving for the past few weeks on an expired license…

I wanted to go with him over to the DMV just to watch the show. You know the one; it is where the cop gives you the demonstration of how to properly apply his baton to the back of Rainman’s head. That happens just before he properly applies the handcuffs. Having personally been in that situation, I knew I would enjoy seeing it happen to Rainman for the first time.

Now I know what you all are thinking. “Shame on you Pig for wanting to see your best friend be treated like that.” Yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s like this, Rainman is always telling me to behave. He never wants to let me get into trouble. There is no fun in good behavior. And once, just once, I would like for him to see and feel what I go through. OK, now with that said, here we go.

That day I went to work with Rainman and at lunch time he would head over to the DMV. Along the way there, I convinced him to stop and get me some lunch since once he was arrested; I knew it would be a while til I get to eat again. When we got to the DMV I stayed out in the truck while he went inside. I could see through the window he would be waiting in line a while so I finished my burger.

When it was his turn, I went up to the glass to watch. I would have gone inside but the sign on the door said “No Pets”, I didn’t want to push my luck. Chewing on some now cold fries, I watched and waited for the state trooper to come out as Rainman went to the front counter. He handed the girl his expired license. Yeap, any minute now that cop will come out.

Instead the girl handed him the card back with another piece of paper to fill out. They must wait with the cop to give Rainman a chance to fill out the “What to do with the dead body” form.

Rainman walked over to another table and began to fill the form out. This was much better, that must be where they will arrest him, it is right in front of everyone there. It was perfect to make an example of him.

I waited, still no cop yet.

Then Rainman went over to another counter. Ahhh, so that’s where they will do it. He was greeted by a smiling lady. That’s a trick they use. They smile at you to make you feel at ease for the coming doom.

Wait for it…

Any minute now that cop will come busting out the door and smack him on the head. I was on pins and needles waiting.

Wait for it…

Now he is looking in something that looks like a microscope, he is still talking to her.

Now he is pulling out his wallet. Maybe he has to empty his pockets.

No, now he is handing her money, OMG he’s paying her off to stay out of jail. Wait a minute, that sure is a cheap payoff.

W.T.H. She just handed him back his license along with another piece of paper. He’s still smiling. Here he comes. But…, but…, where the cops?

“Come on Pig, we’re done here.” He said walking to the truck.

“Hey, what’s the deal here?” “Why weren’t you arrested in there?”

Pig, I tried to tell you before, I only needed to renew my license, Come on Dude, let’s go.”

Awe Man, where the fun in that?

He Warned Me

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets,

Everyone knows Rainman just turned 50 couple weeks ago.

He warned me not to blog about his birthday this year.

He told me not to joke about it either.

He even went as far as to warn me to leave it alone.

Rainman was oh so worried about turning 50 that it passed by quietly.

So what is the big deal about all that.

I'll tell you what the big deal is.

This morning I was routing through his wallet looking for some beer money, when I looked at his drivers license I saw that it was EXPIRED. The dumb-ass was so worked up about his birthday that he forgot to renew it.

You should have seen the look on his face when I showed it to him.

I'm still laughing my ass off over it. Mr. Straight Lace forgot to renew his license.

Mr. Perfect messed up big time driving without his T.D.L. I can't wait to see what they do to him at the DMV.

I hope the cop uses the baton.

Writers Block

One of the great things about blogging is you get to be creative as you want. One of the bad things about blogging is you can also acquire a mean case of writers block. That last one is what I have been going through for the past month. One mean case of writers block. But thanks to my good friend and follow blogger, Leanne Shirtliffe~ironic mom, my blockage is healing much better. If you have never read her blog before, I would suggest you pop on over and check it out.

A few weeks ago she posted about two young fellows using a word that one would never expect for them to use. Thanks to that post, it gave me an idea to get my creative juices flowing once more.

Today I am going to take a word and see how much I can write about that one word. This might be interesting. If it works I will give full credit to Ms. Leanne. Since this is the first time I am doing this I will keep it simple. Leanne, I hope I do you proud!

Ready?

Here goes

I think I'll call this “ For The Love Of A Pig”

What is love?

Where does love come from?

What is loves purpose?

Love serves me laughter, like foamy bubbles tickling my nose.

Loves taste is bitter sweet.

Love starts out cold.

If left alone love becomes lukewarm.

Love comes in many shapes and sizes.

Love is powerful. It gives me the strength of 10 pigs.

Love is hurtful. It can bring me to my knees.

Love can make me sick.

Love can also make me happy.

A shot of love can brighten even the darkest day.

Wait a minute...

Did I use the word “Love”?

Damn it!

I meant to use the word “Beer” This is great, now I screwed it all up. Sorry everyone, sorry Leanne. I guess I need to go back and try again. I guess I'm not fully recovered from the blockage. Good thing this isn't a homework assignment.

I'm Back Again

Pig Writes:

Greetings to all my lovers of pork out there. Yeah buddy, I'm back. I know that you had missed me a lot knowing I was injured so badly. I just needed a little time to heal up. I'm all better now, I took the bandages off last night and I have very little scarring. I want to thank everyone for their concerns and get wells sent to me. I really appreciated all of you sentiments. And now I guess it is time for me to come clean. Let me explain.

Yes, I was attacked. Yes, I was beat up. And yes, I did know who did it. But your really gonna laugh about this when you hear it. That night after I went to bed, I was lying down on my shelf. One of our cats, Bailey,

 decided she wanted to lay down with me on the shelf. Well, when she does that there is not enough room for the both of us. Plus she always ends up clawing me in the middle of the night. So, wanting to get some undisturbed sleep, I pushed her off of me. It seems that she wasn't going to comply with me wishes, so she fought back.

The crashing sound Rainman heard that night was the two of us wrestling and tumbling over the edge of the shelf. Yes I did hit my head on the next shelf going down. Yes, I was knocked out cold. And yes, the someone or something Rainman felt move by him was Bailey running from the scene of the crime. The crime being that bitch got the best of me by fighting like a girl (all the hair pulling and clawing she did). OK, Y'all happy now? There, I admitted it. I got beat up by a girl.

Bad thing is, if Rainman wouldn't have freaked out and posted on-line that I was attacked, I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now. Thanks Dude, mighty white of you”.

So I spent the rest of the week resting and getting healed up. Well, it was more like grounded from my computer. I found out that our other cat, Blue, ratted me out on what had happened. Saturday, we had the Sentinels MC fundraiser I wanted to go to. So I had to watch my P's and Q's around the house.

Saturday finally came and I was ready to get out of the house. Mom made sure since I was grounded that I had plenty, and when I say plenty, I mean PLENTY of chores to do around the house. 

 I was getting on the bike when Rainman took no chances with us riding over to Buck's Saloon.

Once we got there I was able to have a beer or two and just chill out with some of my kind of people.

They even had live music from Jack Ruby Tuesday. They are a pretty good band that play a lot of biker kind of music (a mixture of classic rock). The Sentinels MC fundraiser was for the Bair Foundation and the Wounded Warriors/Fisher House Program. They had brisket and sausage plates for sale along with raffles and stuff. I gotta tell ya this, the brisket kicked butt. The boys started cooking that stuff around 4PM the day before. They cooked all through the night and that morning. That was some mighty good brisket. I couldn't eat the sausage though, if it had any pork in it, that might have been my cousin Wilbur, we all know he ain't no damn good.

After a couple of beers for pain killers, I decided I needed to get laid. And a little while later, I was getting laid more and more. I really enjoyed it. Thank you ladies.

Well, it looks like all is well now. Mom is resting, Rainman is making homemade chicken and dumplings for dinner,

I'm back to do my writing thing and the cats are busy with their naps. Life is good, especially when you have loving family and friends who care about you. Thanks to all of you once again. I love you all. But I will love you even more if you show up with cold beer to share.

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

B.T.W. SHHHHHH! Rainman turns 50 in two weeks.  

Anothr Pig Update

Another Pig Update

Rainman Writes:

Hey everybody, we have great news.  Pig is now home from the hospital.  I got a call yesterday evening from the vet’s office and they said for me to come get Pig.  Seems that he was doing much better and was ready to come home. 

I got there as quick as I could.

I think Pig was ready to head home.  Along the way home I asked him who beat him up?  He wasn’t able to answer me very clearly since he was still on some pain meds.  However he did tell me “Bacon Sizzle”.  I have no clue as to what he meant by that.  Other than maybe he assailant might have threatened him with that.  Has anyone heard Pig being threatened with “Bacon Sizzle” or maybe “I’ll sizzle your bacon”?  Please let me know if you had, it just might help us to find who did this to Pig.

I got him home and decided since he had been through so much that he could sleep in our bed for the night.  I guess we will have to see how he feels later today.  I’m not sure when he will be ready to write again.  But hopefully it won’t be too long.

Thanks again for all your concerns and “Get Wells”  I will make sure Pig sees them all as soon as he is able.

Side note:  When I got to the vet’s I was able to figure out why Pig kept saying Ta Ta’s over and over.  The nurse who was caring for him was wearing a low cut shirt and everytime she bent over pig he was looking in her shirt at the tops of her twins.  I just knew they would take good care of him. 

It’s great to have our little buddy back.

Rainman

Pig Update

Pig Update

Rainman Writes:

For those of you who may not have heard, our dear friend, Pig, was brutally assaulted last night. Shortly after 10:00PM, after I had gone to bed, I was startled by a crashing sound that came from Pig’s room. I ran down the hall in the dark and as I entered into his room I felt something or someone move past me. When I turned the light on I found Pig. He was face down on the floor unconscious.

Pig always sleeps on the 2^nd level of his book shelf. 

 Well I rolled him over and saw several SCRATCHES AND CUTS all over his body. I tried to wake him up, but it was to no avail. I quickly rushed Pig to the animal hospital. There the Dr. worked on him to save his life. I was forced to wait outside in the waiting room.

At 1:00 AM the Dr. finally came out with some news. It appears that Pig had been in some type of altercation. The cuts and scratches are consistent with claw like marks. The bruising shows blows to the head and body. The bump on the head must have been from him hitting one of the shelves on the way down to the floor. I asked the Dr. if he (Pig) could have done this falling off the shelf. No way, this was a full on fight for his life.

Pig was still unconscious, but was out of serious danger. I was told to go home and let Pig rest. I called the Vet’s office at 9:00 AM this morning, Pig was out for the night but his vital signs showed good and strong. They told me to call back around 3:00PM and for now let him rest.

I am very upset that someone or something came into our house and attacked Pig. We did call the police, they came out and checked over the house. There was no evidence of a forced entry. The only witnesses to the crime were our two cats, Blue & Bailey, and as of right now, they are not telling us anything. The cops said there isn’t much that they can do at this time without any evidence or witnesses.

Whoever had done this had planned it carefully to not leave a trace of evidence. This dastardly act of cowardness cannot be allowed to happen without justice for Pig. I am asking each of you if you know or have heard anything as to who might have done this to Pig, please come forward. If you don’t know anything please spread the word to others to find the lousy S.O.B who did this to Pig. Anyone with information can post it onto Pigs Page on Facebook. At this time we don’t have anything to offer for a reward other than a 12 pack of beer.

Together we can bring justice to Pig. Please keep all the “Get Wells” coming to Pig. He will need them when he gets home. I’ll keep you all updated as I know anything new

Thanks for all you love and support

Rainman.

May I Quote You On That.

Greetings to all my Piglets out there,

For today’s post I wanted to share with you a few twisted rambling thoughts. You already know how I love to write and to tell stories of my and Rainman’s adventures out there on the road. I also love to collect quotations and use them in some of my stories. Writers, enthusiasts and people of character will use quotations by famous people in their writing all the time. I, for one, have even used a few of my own quotes as well. No, it does not mean I have become famous yet, but one day I just might. Want to hear one of my soon to be famous quotes? Here goes: “I shall fear no beer.” - Pig Pretty cool, huh?

Do you have a favorite quote you like to use?

Quotes help enable the writer to get their point across by using people of authority to validate the written word. I find that it also makes the writing a little more interesting.

In the biker world, quotations can be used to describe many situations or circumstances we bikers may face at any particular time. Example: “If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles, you would not be able to sit down for six months.” – Unknown

We are the one responsible for our own situation. In order for me to fulfill that quote, well, to be honest, I would first have to pick my ass up off the floor from being kicked.

Quotes are great for describing things in regards to a particular journey in your story. Let’s try: “We cannot discover new oceans until we have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Muriel Chen

That could replace my quote of “No bar is too far for this Pig.” – Pig

Sometime I get a little writers block and using a quote from someone famous can help lengthen short writings. Here is the long version. “Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller

And now the shorter version “Famous last words of a biker – watch this.” – Unknown

Quotations can even be used to describe a person’s thoughts as they are doing something. Example: “The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man’s foot enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher.” – Thomas H. Huxley said the Pig as he climbed upon the top of the large vat of beer.

When you must take a stance with your feet planted firmly on the ground as serious action is about to take place you can use something like this: Peter Drucker once said “There is the risk you cannot afford to take, and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take.” Hey! We’re out of beer and Flaming Hot Cheetos – someone drive me down to the icehouse.

It's funny how some people quote themselves so much that they have become predictable. I know mom’s favorite quote has always been “If you don’t get in there and clean that room, I’ll beat you with a switch.” – Mom

Some quotes have the ability to remind you of what is important. I really like this next one. “The great tragedy of life is not death, but what dies inside of us while we live.” – Norman Cousins yeah, I can dig that.

I asked earlier if you have a favorite quote. What is it? I would love to know. Drop me a comment for all of us to enjoy. If I get some really good ones, I'll see if I can use them in my next story. Giving you full credit of course.

In closing I would like to leave you with a quote that I use on a regular basis. It is a great quote from a man who faced opposition everyday. But he had the courage to look past that opposition to see what wondrous prize was awaiting him on the other side. I keep this quote on a sticky note next to my keyboard to remind me to never give up, to never quit. That quote is:

“Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

The Importance of Bike Night

Hey Piglets,

Yup, it’s me again.  Just wanted to let you know my next article in Thunder Roads Texas is out on the streets.  This time I wrote about Bike Nights here in San Antonio.  If you haven’t had a chance to see it yet you can view it on line here.  If you would like to see the whole magazine then just click on the Thunder Roads.

You know one great thing about writing for a magazine is you get free copies to hand out. Last Saturday I gave a copy to a friend for her birthday.  In that issue I had a photo of her and I posted in it.  When she saw her photo in the magazine she started jumping up and down shouting “I made the magazine, I made the magazine.”  I don’t think she has stopped jumping up and down yet.

As always,  Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

Happy Father's Day

Rainman writes:

Happy Fathers Day.

I say that to all the fathers out there. I sincerely hope and pray that your day is as wonderful as possible.

For this Father's Day I have taken the time to reflect on all the wonderful blessings I have been granted.

Blessed with one daughter.

Blessed I was able to raise her the best that I could.

Blessed I was able to raise her in church.

And I am blessed I was able to teach her most of the basics of life.

This is the first Father's Day I am not able to spend with her – but that is OK. I know she truly loves me.

How does she show her love for her “dad”?

By stopping by the house earlier in the week. She dropped off a card with a couple of $5.00 DVD's, a cold Dr. Pepper in the fridge and a Snickers bar in the freezer (my favorite). While the total price of her gift was less than 20 bucks, it was all worth millions.

Happy Father's Day

P.S. To all the deadbeat fathers out there, thanks for nothing!

Vacation Time

Vacation Time

This week Rainman is on vacation. It is his first vacation in three years. That means nine whole days to spend with him. We may have to see who wants to kill who first by the end of the week. But being a couple of broke bums we didn’t make any plans to go anywhere special. Instead we made plans to get caught up on some projects around the house and then put in some road time on the bike. One of the projects to be completed was for me to finally get a bedroom/office of my own to live in and write my stories.

After Ericka moved out, her old room became the new spare bedroom. That left the old spare room for me. Even though it is the smallest room in the house it still worked for me. Really, how much room does a Pig need?

Just to give you an idea of what we were dealing with I have enclosed some pictures of the before and after effect. Now I have to ask you does this look like an office suited for a Pig like me.

Oh hell no. It just won’t do. First of all, I am not a Tweety bird. That means the yellow walls must go. And as for as this lovely print on the bed and matching curtains, I think I’m gonna puke! It’s OUTTA HERE!!!

Rainman and I talked about a new color scheme, one that goes with my personality. That was when the trouble started. Seems that what we had in mind and what mom had in mind were two very different minds. That was when the first argument started. We (Rainman & I) decided we would make three walls a light grey, one wall Harley Davidson orange and the trim would be black. And we would paint a black and an orange stripe across the grey walls @ half way up. That you could say that it didn’t fly with mom at all.

It seemed that she wanted the room to stay in the same degree of colors as the rest of the house. She said she would go with all four walls grey but no three tones would be allowed. Rainman looked down at me. I think he saw the tears in my eyes as I faced the reality of not getting the colors I really wanted. I saw his chest puff up. Oh Shit! Now the crap has really hit the fan. Argument number two had just started. He was either the bravest man in the world or the most absolute dumbest. Either way, Rainman dug in deep and fought a real uphill battle.

You could say the test of a true friend can be measured by how willing they are to stand up for you. Rainman’s true red white and blue colors shined brightly, or was that the colors of the bruises he received? I’m not really sure. After I picked him up off the floor and helped him to his feet, he looked down at me and said “There is more than one way to skin a cat.” I didn’t know what he meant by that, I tried it on Blue one time and that cat tore my ass up with his claws.

We headed over to the Home Depot and purchased the three colors. We got home and started painting. Playing it smart, we started with the three walls of grey first. It looked pretty good and mom was happy with it. Then when her back was turned, we started with the orange wall. We had the first coat on when we heard a scream come from the living room. At first sight there was mom standing in front of the leather love seat. On top of the love seat were three spots of orange paint going across the top. One of the cats (Bailey) had stepped in some paint I spilled in the room. She walked straight out into the living room. Leaving paw prints of orange across the floor and the top of the love seat.

Busted. There was no denying it. We were so busted. Mom just stood there screaming at us. There are only two things in this world that I am scared of. Mom being pissed is one of them. As her faced turned bright red and steam rolled out of her ears, I grabbed some cleaner out of the supply cabinet and got busy cleaning the mess. Rainman, on the other hand, had his hands full dealing with mom. While I was cleaning, she followed the paw trail back into my bedroom and saw that we had painted the fourth wall orange. I can’t repeat here what she said but I will tell you this. Number one, those were some real bright colorful words she used. Number two, we were shut down on painting for the rest of the day and all of Sunday too. This vacation did not start out all that well for Rainman.

It took until about Sunday evening mixed in with a lot of butt kissing before mom finally chilled out; she even started to come around to the idea of the new colors. And early Monday morning, we were back to painting. Funny thing is; mom made sure we paid hell for our actions of painting the room in unapproved colors. It seemed like every few minutes she found something else for us to do. You see, there were these “little” errands that needed to be run. We had to run to the grocery store for her, and then it was over to Whataburger to pick up some lunch. Then we had to run down to DQ to get some ice cream (since this was a vacation). She made sure to interrupt us at just about every opportunity she could. They say that pay back is a bitch. Boy is that ever right. What should have taken us one day to complete took until Tuesday to finish.

By the time we finished with the painting, poor Rainman’s nerves were shot. He would have been better off not being on vacation at all. 

 I’m surprised he didn’t blow a head gasket. He was putting my computer together when I laid my hoof on his arm and asked him to stop. I told him “Bro, we’re done. It’s time for us to take a ride.” We set it up with Keyman to take a nice long ride on Wednesday. We could finish the room out in small bits from here. I have to say all in all, we did a pretty good job. 

 Even with all the hell mom put us through to get it done. It was all worth it. With my new room all to myself, now I feel like a professional biker writer!

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig.

What do you think? Do the new colors suit me well? Leave me a comment.

Rainy Day & Thunder

Pig Writes:

Ever have one of those days when the rain comes down and there is nothing to do other than watch it? I had that kind of day today. The weather man said “Rain in the afternoon.” But as life would have it, the weather outside said something different.

I didn’t have anything important to do today. Maybe I could get a little sun so my tan stays nice and pink. As I tried to find something to watch on TV, I quickly became bored with that. I tried teasing the cats, but all they wanted to do was sleep (buttheads).

I stood there at the kitchen window watching bucket size droplets of water splash on the ground. I noticed that the more it rained the more the drainage swale in the back yard filled up with run-off. I was bored out of my mind.

The only sounds I heard was the tick of the clock on the wall. It made a feeble attempt to keep in rhythm with the rain outside.

Tick… Tock… Plink, Plink, Plink. Tick… Tock… Plink, Plink, Plink.

No beer in the house… Tick-Tock, Plink.

No one to talk to… Tick-Tock, Plink

Nothing to do but just sit here… Tick-Tock, Plink, Plink,Plink.

What to do… What to do…..

Screw this.

In fast move, I grabbed ol’ blue and I chucked his furry butt right out the door and into the drainage swale.

Why?

Because it’s fun to watch cats get wet. That’s why!

Ol’ Blue landed right in the big puddle of muddy water. He was in there for about .5 of a second before he hauled ass back into the house. Soaking wet and screaming his head off, he tried to run from me. His wet, muddy paws lost all traction on the tile floor. Bailey took one look at Blue and disappeared faster than a plate of fresh baked cookies.

I guess she knew her turn was next. After I wiped the tears from my eyes for laughing so hard, I noticed the rain was coming down hard again. That was when I decided why should I let Blue have all the fun? Besides, he’ll just spend the rest of the day licking himself clean. I flung open the back door again. With a running start I headed straight for the water. I dove across the top of the water, doing my own version of a hydroplane. When I hit the mud it was like having a home made Slip-n-Slide.

It was great-the water was cold and refreshing. I wallowed in the muddy water just slipping and sliding, flinging mud everywhere. What a fun day this turned out to be. I can’t remember the last time it was I just played in the rain. I recommend it to everyone. It is a great way to wash the blues away.

Have you ever had a day like this? Drop me a comment and tell me all about it. I would love to hear from you!

Tune in next time piglets to find out what happens when you drag lots of mud into the house and don’t clean it up.

As always

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig