Another Christmas Story Part Two

Another Christmas Story Part Two

Pig Writes

A whole week went by and the materials sat there in the shop. Not a tool was pulled off the shelf nor a pencil sharpened.

His mind raged on in battle as to why he must face this task.

A task for a nephew he never met, for a sister-in-law he could not tolerate.

She cut him down in the past for his beliefs forged in the “old school” ways. He learned it was better to keep the peace, to mind his own business and keep to himself.

Now he is tasked to build something for the one person he despised the most.

The plan to build the toy box was simple, a few cuts of wood, a dab of glue along with a few screws and the toy box would be put together in a few hours. Yet he could not bring himself to the shop and start the project.

His heart was not in it.

His heart was not in it for all the wrong reasons.

It wasn't the nephew's fault.

But then Friday came with news of a horrible tragedy.

Twenty children and six adults would lose their lives to a madman.

The laughter silenced. The joy gone.

Those left behind will bear great pain for their loss.

Something changed inside the man's mind. There was now movement in his heart.

Early that Saturday morning the work had begun. The tools of his craft were dusted off, cleaned and oiled. Blades were sharpened. Everything was ready to go.

I watched off to the side as the man got busy with his work. What he did once before as a young man now was a bit harder for him to do. The paunch of his fat belly strained his back, his tired eyes required prescription glasses instead of safety glasses. It was most certain he was not the same young man as long ago.

I watched as he toiled to make measurements and cuts. His written plans and drawings were more like notes scratched on paper to serve as reminders to him. The plan in his head being transferred to his hands. It didn't take long before the raw materials began to take shape of a toy box. He continued working throughout the day. Only stopping for the occasional smoke break and a drink of his Dr. Pepper.

I asked him once during the day why he was going through all this work if he really didn't want to. His only reply was “I have my reason.”

Singular.

That meant only one reason why.

I pondered as to what that one reason was.

At the end of the day the mans wife came out to the shop to see the progress made.

A smile grew on her face for she was pleased in what she saw.

Before her stood a grand toy box and shelf.

The wood was bare, the edges were rough-like the man who built it.

She loved him with all of her heart.

After a pause, the wife looked at her husband and asked “Where will the stars go?”

“Stars?”, the man & I looked at each other, “What stars?”

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig.

Another Christmas Story

Another Christmas Story

Part One

Pig Writes.

Long, long ago there was a young man who had desires to be a woodworker.

He was creative. He learned many things from his father.

He learned how to use tools safely and how to care for them.

He learned his craft true and straight like the cuts he made into the wood he used. Better yet, like a true craftsman, he learned how to hide his mistakes.

The young man made all sorts of things, from wooden toys to shelves and even furniture. For he was good at his craft.

People from all around wanted him to build things for them.

But then one day, he put his tools down and stored them away. People had changed. They didn't want to pay him what he was owed for his services. They all seemed to take advantage of him for his craft.

The love of his craft was gone. The young man no longer enjoyed what he did.

That was many years ago.

Recently there was a birth of a nephew in the family and Christmas would soon arrive.

The man was asked by his wife to build a toy box for the new nephew as a Christmas present.

At first the man said “No!”. But his wife knew how to push his buttons to convince him to say “Yes”. The poor guy never stood a chance. Broken down and ashamed I heard him mutter “OK, I'll do it”.

He would agree to build a toy box for the new nephew, but not for the sister-in-law who could not bear to stand in the same room as him.

What was going through his mind at that moment, I would not know.

I wasn't sure as to why he would agree to build something his heart was not into.

I would learn why soon enough.

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

Where Have You Been Pig?

Hey Piglets

Yeah I know it’s been a while since my last blog. I guess you could say I am guilty as charged for not writing. So sue me.

For the week of Thanksgiving, Rainman and I completed what was an epic journey by motorcycle from San Antonio to St. Louis. A ride that was a mire 2148 miles. Call it a journey in search of the World's Largest Ball of String. But it was more than a journey, for us, it was an adventure of a life time. The places we seen, the food we ate, and the people we met along the way, made our adventure all the more interesting and memorable.

What we enjoyed the most was some of the comments we got from people along the way.

Heard this one from a guy at a gas station in Atoka OK. “Hey, that’s a nice looking bike you’ve got there, Oh wait, that's a Honda motorcycle isn’t it?”

-Yeah, it would be a Honda.

Got this from a lady at a restaurant in Hillsboro TX. “You look just like my brother in that outfit.”

- Only thing is I’m more handsome than him.

“You don't publish names do you? I don't want my ex-husband to find out where I live.” This from the front desk clerk at one of the hotels we stayed at in Bentonville AR.

“Bet you boys could use some coffee, huh?” I heard from the waitress in Shelly’s Café in Cuba MO .

No thanks, my teeth just like to imitate a jackhammer.

“I wish I was going with you” Said the nurse on her way to work at the hospital. – That’s funny since most people in the medical field tell us to “Get out while you’re still alive”.

Don’t you have warmer transportation than that? Had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at the old grandma at the gas station in Rolla MO.

We were drinking coffee, having a conversation with an old man at the Waffle House in Rolla MO. When all of the sudden he says in a yelling voice, “Who the F… are you to be talking to me.”

- OK, the people in Rolla MO are starting to scare me.

Eat your bacon Pig, don’t let it go to waste.” Breakfast one morning at grandma’s house.

- I think grandma & I need to talk.

“Hey everybody, he’s not nuts, he’s a writer for a magazine”, replied a waitress in McAlester OK. She was proud to announce it across the whole restaurant after she learned who we were.

-Can we please get out of Oklahoma now?

I swear this next one really happened. It was at a roadside diner called Mom’s Home Cooking in Vinta OK.

“Hey you’re a cute little pig” said the waitress. I looked up at her to respond and I saw she had four breasts protruding from her sweater. All I could say was

- Mama, Mama.

“Did you know you have a pig on your motorcycle? Around here we keep our pigs in a pen.” Said the smartass punk at a stop light in Gelena Kansas.

- Shame on you for imprisoning your pigs like that and stop romancing the sheep.

The absolute best one I heard was from Rainman himself. We were just outside Bourbon MO. We were going uphill fast and hard to pass a semi-truck when all of the sudden, everything got quite. Real quite. And then all I heard was “Oh Shit, the bike ran out of gas.”

Ride Hard, and fill the gas tank.

Have a nice day.

Pig

Chili Cook-off

Greetings All,

Yeap, I'm back.  I know it has been a while since the last post.  I've been a little busy.

Here is my latest article that posted on the web-zine

Enjoy

Pig

Rainman Gets Arrested

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets, yes, yes, yes, it’s me again. I have a new update for you. Are you ready for this? Here we go. In my last post I told ya’ll how Rainman (in his age of wisdom) forgot to renew his Texas drivers’ license. And now it is time to tell you what happened at the DMV As ya’ll know, at the DMV they have state troopers hanging out in the back room. They wait for dumb butts who walk in with warrants on their records and try to renew their license. They also wait there for the ones who drive up with a expired license too. And since Rainman has been driving for the past few weeks on an expired license…

I wanted to go with him over to the DMV just to watch the show. You know the one; it is where the cop gives you the demonstration of how to properly apply his baton to the back of Rainman’s head. That happens just before he properly applies the handcuffs. Having personally been in that situation, I knew I would enjoy seeing it happen to Rainman for the first time.

Now I know what you all are thinking. “Shame on you Pig for wanting to see your best friend be treated like that.” Yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s like this, Rainman is always telling me to behave. He never wants to let me get into trouble. There is no fun in good behavior. And once, just once, I would like for him to see and feel what I go through. OK, now with that said, here we go.

That day I went to work with Rainman and at lunch time he would head over to the DMV. Along the way there, I convinced him to stop and get me some lunch since once he was arrested; I knew it would be a while til I get to eat again. When we got to the DMV I stayed out in the truck while he went inside. I could see through the window he would be waiting in line a while so I finished my burger.

When it was his turn, I went up to the glass to watch. I would have gone inside but the sign on the door said “No Pets”, I didn’t want to push my luck. Chewing on some now cold fries, I watched and waited for the state trooper to come out as Rainman went to the front counter. He handed the girl his expired license. Yeap, any minute now that cop will come out.

Instead the girl handed him the card back with another piece of paper to fill out. They must wait with the cop to give Rainman a chance to fill out the “What to do with the dead body” form.

Rainman walked over to another table and began to fill the form out. This was much better, that must be where they will arrest him, it is right in front of everyone there. It was perfect to make an example of him.

I waited, still no cop yet.

Then Rainman went over to another counter. Ahhh, so that’s where they will do it. He was greeted by a smiling lady. That’s a trick they use. They smile at you to make you feel at ease for the coming doom.

Wait for it…

Any minute now that cop will come busting out the door and smack him on the head. I was on pins and needles waiting.

Wait for it…

Now he is looking in something that looks like a microscope, he is still talking to her.

Now he is pulling out his wallet. Maybe he has to empty his pockets.

No, now he is handing her money, OMG he’s paying her off to stay out of jail. Wait a minute, that sure is a cheap payoff.

W.T.H. She just handed him back his license along with another piece of paper. He’s still smiling. Here he comes. But…, but…, where the cops?

“Come on Pig, we’re done here.” He said walking to the truck.

“Hey, what’s the deal here?” “Why weren’t you arrested in there?”

Pig, I tried to tell you before, I only needed to renew my license, Come on Dude, let’s go.”

Awe Man, where the fun in that?

He Warned Me

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets,

Everyone knows Rainman just turned 50 couple weeks ago.

He warned me not to blog about his birthday this year.

He told me not to joke about it either.

He even went as far as to warn me to leave it alone.

Rainman was oh so worried about turning 50 that it passed by quietly.

So what is the big deal about all that.

I'll tell you what the big deal is.

This morning I was routing through his wallet looking for some beer money, when I looked at his drivers license I saw that it was EXPIRED. The dumb-ass was so worked up about his birthday that he forgot to renew it.

You should have seen the look on his face when I showed it to him.

I'm still laughing my ass off over it. Mr. Straight Lace forgot to renew his license.

Mr. Perfect messed up big time driving without his T.D.L. I can't wait to see what they do to him at the DMV.

I hope the cop uses the baton.

Writers Block

One of the great things about blogging is you get to be creative as you want. One of the bad things about blogging is you can also acquire a mean case of writers block. That last one is what I have been going through for the past month. One mean case of writers block. But thanks to my good friend and follow blogger, Leanne Shirtliffe~ironic mom, my blockage is healing much better. If you have never read her blog before, I would suggest you pop on over and check it out.

A few weeks ago she posted about two young fellows using a word that one would never expect for them to use. Thanks to that post, it gave me an idea to get my creative juices flowing once more.

Today I am going to take a word and see how much I can write about that one word. This might be interesting. If it works I will give full credit to Ms. Leanne. Since this is the first time I am doing this I will keep it simple. Leanne, I hope I do you proud!

Ready?

Here goes

I think I'll call this “ For The Love Of A Pig”

What is love?

Where does love come from?

What is loves purpose?

Love serves me laughter, like foamy bubbles tickling my nose.

Loves taste is bitter sweet.

Love starts out cold.

If left alone love becomes lukewarm.

Love comes in many shapes and sizes.

Love is powerful. It gives me the strength of 10 pigs.

Love is hurtful. It can bring me to my knees.

Love can make me sick.

Love can also make me happy.

A shot of love can brighten even the darkest day.

Wait a minute...

Did I use the word “Love”?

Damn it!

I meant to use the word “Beer” This is great, now I screwed it all up. Sorry everyone, sorry Leanne. I guess I need to go back and try again. I guess I'm not fully recovered from the blockage. Good thing this isn't a homework assignment.