I need some help

Hey Gang,

I'm glad that you stopped by today. I need some help. It seems that someone I know read my last blog this morning, you know, the one about being content. Seems that I struck some nerve in the guy, he called me today and went off on me. He started yelling something about how I am just a dumb pig and that I don't have any business blogging because I am just plain ol' stupid. He said that my stories are boring, pointless and a waste of peoples time to read. (That last comment really hurt.) Here is where I need your help. I know that I am a pig. I know that I don't have an education. I know that I don't have one of those high profile career jobs either. Hell man, I don't even own a car, let alone own a motorcycle. And yes, I've been to jail a time or two, but hey, the charges have always been dropped. I just like to drink beer, chase hot women and clean motorcycles. And maybe now and then tell a few of my stories in between jobs.

Here is where I need your help. I am going to finish today's blog by describing how I view people who are not content in their lives. I'll explain briefly. In the previous blog I was describing what makes certain people happy and content, now I am going to describe what makes this and other spineless dweebs so unhappy in their own pathetic , miserable lives. And depending on how you feel about the way I blog, I would like to hear from you. Please don't be afraid to respond, because I, Pig, would love to hear from you so that I can maybe improve my writing skills a little bit. Ready, here goes.

What makes people unhappy, non-content and miserable.

When they were babies, their mama didn't breast feed them. And now they feel unloved.

The only dates they had in high school was Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters. (Painful memories)

When they were kids, they were so ugly that their mother really did have to tie a bone around their necks to get the family dog to play with them.

They spent so much money buying stuff trying to be cool and people still blow them off.

Their just pissed because the only drive they have in their lives is jumping in the car and going to Taco Bell.

Their pissed because the tornado missed their trailer during the last storm.

Their wife's nipples drag across the floor.

A news reporter just ruined their life with a news story.

Every Halloween they got a rock instead of candy.

When they were born, they were so ugly the doctor slapped their mama instead of them on the butt.

They can't pay their bills on time and their cars just got repo'ed.

Their just pissed because the new flame job they had done on their car was real flames instead of new paint.

They just found out they have the ugliest house on the street and the homeowners association wants to sue them over it.

They still haven't received their free stimulus check from Obama yet.

Their just pissed because they still have to get up and go to work in the morning.

They found out that superman is just a comic book character.

And last but not least:

What really makes them so unhappy is the fact that I, Pig, got laid last night and they DIDN'T.

You can post your comments here or you can e-mail me at ray@raysbikecleanandetail.com

Have a great day

Pig.