Words out of my mouth

Authored by:   Pig

On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

Will he offer me his mouth?

Yes.

Will he offer me his teeth?

Yes.

Will he offer me his jaws?

Yes.

Will he offer me his hunger?

Yes.

Again, will he offer me his hunger?

Yes.

And will he starve without me?

Yes.

Then does he love me?

Yes.

Yes.

On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

Yes

I bet you say that to all the boys.

Song Sung By:  Meatloaf

Today while everyone was at work, I was left alone in the house with the cats.  Bored out of my mind, I paced around the house with nothing to do.  All the while, I suffered what all of us writers go through-the dreaded writers block.  I had one severe, bad case of it.  Thank God for the internet, there are a lot of blogs out there and a lot of good writers have given their advice on how to break the writers block.  Hoodie Up” was my only option since we were out of both Cheetos and Diet Coke in the house.  (I think the cats hid them from me.) 

I sat there staring at the computer screen with a blank look on my face.

I needed some inspiration so I borrowed Ray’s MP-3 player and turned it on.  Yeap, you guessed it, dead battery.  Oh great, just my luck, could this day possibly get any worse?  I found a new battery and started to jam.

With the first song on deck I found my inspiration i.e.: this post. 

No-I’m not writing about the song, I’m writing about what is in the song, the first line to be exact.  It caught hold of me, it pulled me in.  That first line had me from the beginning to the end.  Wow, why can’t I write like that?  With the first line, I found what I was looking for.

The best pick up line ever.

I can see it now, no more struggling to break the ice with the ladies.  It’s bound to work, it has to work.  Oh yes – with that line, she will be putty in my hand hoof.

But how do I say it?

I don’t sound anything like Meatloaf.

Actually, I sound more like Porky Pig.  Ba Deep, ba deep ba dats all folks.

Should I try using a deep voice? Say like Barry White?

I just don’t know what to do here.

Ah Ha, I know what to do – it’s time to rally up the troops.  OK people, we need a little help here.  We need to know something.  Does “On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses” work for a pick up line for a Pig like me?  I sure can’t ask the cats for help-they ate all my Cheetos.  I would love to hear from you if you think it will work.  If you don’t feel it is the right kind of pick up line, could you offer me one that is right? 

While I wait for your replies, I think I’ll just go chase the cats around the house.

Ride Hard or Stay Home

Pig.