Rainman Gets Arrested

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets, yes, yes, yes, it’s me again. I have a new update for you. Are you ready for this? Here we go. In my last post I told ya’ll how Rainman (in his age of wisdom) forgot to renew his Texas drivers’ license. And now it is time to tell you what happened at the DMV As ya’ll know, at the DMV they have state troopers hanging out in the back room. They wait for dumb butts who walk in with warrants on their records and try to renew their license. They also wait there for the ones who drive up with a expired license too. And since Rainman has been driving for the past few weeks on an expired license…

I wanted to go with him over to the DMV just to watch the show. You know the one; it is where the cop gives you the demonstration of how to properly apply his baton to the back of Rainman’s head. That happens just before he properly applies the handcuffs. Having personally been in that situation, I knew I would enjoy seeing it happen to Rainman for the first time.

Now I know what you all are thinking. “Shame on you Pig for wanting to see your best friend be treated like that.” Yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s like this, Rainman is always telling me to behave. He never wants to let me get into trouble. There is no fun in good behavior. And once, just once, I would like for him to see and feel what I go through. OK, now with that said, here we go.

That day I went to work with Rainman and at lunch time he would head over to the DMV. Along the way there, I convinced him to stop and get me some lunch since once he was arrested; I knew it would be a while til I get to eat again. When we got to the DMV I stayed out in the truck while he went inside. I could see through the window he would be waiting in line a while so I finished my burger.

When it was his turn, I went up to the glass to watch. I would have gone inside but the sign on the door said “No Pets”, I didn’t want to push my luck. Chewing on some now cold fries, I watched and waited for the state trooper to come out as Rainman went to the front counter. He handed the girl his expired license. Yeap, any minute now that cop will come out.

Instead the girl handed him the card back with another piece of paper to fill out. They must wait with the cop to give Rainman a chance to fill out the “What to do with the dead body” form.

Rainman walked over to another table and began to fill the form out. This was much better, that must be where they will arrest him, it is right in front of everyone there. It was perfect to make an example of him.

I waited, still no cop yet.

Then Rainman went over to another counter. Ahhh, so that’s where they will do it. He was greeted by a smiling lady. That’s a trick they use. They smile at you to make you feel at ease for the coming doom.

Wait for it…

Any minute now that cop will come busting out the door and smack him on the head. I was on pins and needles waiting.

Wait for it…

Now he is looking in something that looks like a microscope, he is still talking to her.

Now he is pulling out his wallet. Maybe he has to empty his pockets.

No, now he is handing her money, OMG he’s paying her off to stay out of jail. Wait a minute, that sure is a cheap payoff.

W.T.H. She just handed him back his license along with another piece of paper. He’s still smiling. Here he comes. But…, but…, where the cops?

“Come on Pig, we’re done here.” He said walking to the truck.

“Hey, what’s the deal here?” “Why weren’t you arrested in there?”

Pig, I tried to tell you before, I only needed to renew my license, Come on Dude, let’s go.”

Awe Man, where the fun in that?