The Importance of BEER!!!

Hey Y'all

I'm back for another edition of Pig Talk. Today's topic will be about something that I hold very dear to my heart. Today's topic is....BEER.

Yes boys and girls, I want to discuss the importance of that finely brewed, bubbly cold liquid that is sooooo refreshing to consume. For you see, I am stuck at home all weekend, thanks to Ray, he decided to get a severe sinus infection the day before the St. Valentines Day Massacre Rally up in Boerne and now we can't go. We had a full weekend planned to see the rally and try to drum up some bikes to detail while we were there. Dammit, I was also looking forward to seeing some fine, bare breasted biker women for the past two months. Oh well, such is life, I guess I will have to settle for watching Ray blow yellow snot balls from his nostrils. Yes, it is truly as gross as it sounds (sorry about that).

The importance of beer is monumental when examined in the proper context. For you see, the State of Texas still refuses to give me back my drivers license since I had that 4 car pile up. (I still say it was not my fault) and since Stacey has found a great place to hide the car keys my independent traveling is limited. Now while Ray sleeps in the recliner chair, I have been able to toss back a few of his cold ones from the fridge. I just wish he was wearing shoes while he is sleeping, that way I could tie his laces together and watch him fall when he tries to get up. LOL

Like I said, he's asleep, and I'm enjoying the free beer. After my 5^th one I began to realize why we need beer.

Why drink beer when you are sick:

1. When you are sick, you need lots of fluids to flush out the germs and since beer makes you pee often it helps to flush those germs away.
2. The alcohol in beer kills the infections in your body.
3. Beer helps you to sleep better.
4. When you run a fever, a cold can pressed against your head helps cool you off.
5. Beer is full of vitamins and vitamins make you stronger so you get well quicker.
6. Beer is made from water and you need water to keep from dehydrating.
7. Beer makes a great substitute for chicken noodle soup.
8. Beer makes you forget any pain you may be in.

Why drink beer when your not sick:

1. Beer has been helping white people dance for over two hundred years.
2. When you drink beer, there are no ugly women after 2:00AM.
3. Beer can make a bad live band sound pretty good.
4. With lots of beer on hand, you always have lots of friends.
5. Beer helps keep you from getting sick by killing all the germs in your body.
6. A cold bottle or can of beer pressed against a woman's breast makes her nipples hard enough to cut through glass.
7. Consuming lots of beer gives you the endurance to write your full name in snow while peeing.
8. Beer makes you stronger than any other man in the bar.
9. Drinking beer is not a problem. You drink, you fall down, no problem.
10. Beer, when consumed in enough quantities will make you forget all the stupid stuff you did while you were drunk.
11. King Arthur's knights were able to solve so many of the worlds problems at the round table with a full grog of cold beer.

So you see, beer is VERY important to us. I could go on and on with the list but I will just sum it up like this. Without beer, look at all the stuff we couldn't do. I have to go for now, Ray is beginning to stir in his sleep. I think I will get him a beer and pour it down his throat so I don't have to wake him

Ride hard or stay home (and drink more beer)

Pig.