JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN
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> I was told by my doctor that I needed to lose some weight so I called a company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me was a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me. Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, I finally gave up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens again and again.
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> On the fifth day, I weighed myself and is delighted to find I had lost 10 lbs. as promised, so I called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'. Well let me tell you, I was out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and I did my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, this same routine happens over and over but I was gradually getting in better and better shape.
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Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weighed myself, I discover that I had lost another 20 lbs. as promised. So I decide to go for broke and call the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
'Are you sure?' asks the representative to me on the phone... 'This is our
most rigorous program.'
'Absolutely,' I reply, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I opened it I find a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'
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> I lost 63 pounds that week.

Pig