road trip update

Hey Guys, Pig here. Time for another road trip update.

The last time we talked I left off that we were about to pull into Manitowoc, WI. Well to make a long story short, we did arrive at Manitowoc. We were there for tow days while Ray and Sergio took some training and picked up some new equipment. I wasn't allowed to tag along so my job was to man the hotel room and guard it will my life. My second job was not to get caught in the room by the hotel. I was able to accomplish that on the first day by watching TV and eating Cheetos all day. It was rather boring and I got into trouble from Sergio when he came in and saw Cheetos dust on his bed, so on the second day I sneaked out and headed over to Stocks Harley Davidson. I was lucky that the shop was only ½ mile from the hotel.

While I hung out, I was able to hook up with a couple of nice sales girls. Pam and Ashley were very nice to talk to. We had a great time exchanging stories of life on the road in our own states. I didn't know that they don't have a once a week bike night in Manitowoc. The girls got a little jealous when I told them about our bikes nights (multiple nights) and how much fun they are. Their type of bike night is jumping on your bike and riding to your favorite bar with no fun things to do but drink beer. It started to get late and I needed to go. As I headed out the door I was able to give each of the girls a kiss goodbye along with me phone number. I hope they come to Texas and give me a call.

The boys had finished up their stuff and they were ready to head home. The truck was loaded and we head out of town. We were pulling a 16' trailer loaded with equipment as we moved down I43 towards Milwaukee. I have to say this about Wisconsin, I love the state. They have such beautiful farms and country side. The people are great, so friendly and kind and the food is good. However, the roads on the interstate SUCK!!! Because of the freezing they get in the winter causes the roads to be VERY bumpy. Now when I say bumpy I mean you bounce so hard and so much that you can feel your kidney pile up in the back of your throat. We rattled down the road so bad, after 45 minutes of driving, Ray pulled into a Home Depot parking lot to check all of the nuts and bolts on the trailer. We drove to the Illinois state line and stopped for the night. We got a motel room at a place that looked ok on the outside but once we got into our room it was a different story. The boys were too tired to complain about the A/C not working and the plumbing leaks in the bathroom. They just crashed for the night. I choose to sleep in the truck. It was cool outside and I was able to avoid Rays chainsaw like snoring.

At 5:15 in the morning I was awaken with a suitcase being thrown on top of me (how nice of them) and we headed out. Doesn't anyone ever sleep late anymore?They really drive me nuts with that crap of getting up with the chickens. It takes all the fun out of life. Illinois still sucked with the speed limits and road construction. I was really glad to get out of there. As we got closer to St. Louis Ray said that we would stop at White Castle to eat. Now the day was looking better. For those of you who don't know what a White Castle is I shall enlighten you with detailed description that will give you the cravings. White Castle are a brand of hamburger that has been around for the past 50 or so years. You can only find them in certain northern states. They are square shaped about 2 1/2” x 2 1/2”. The meat is very thin and has five small holes in it. What makes a White Castle so good is the fact that they are steam cooked over diced onions. As the meat is finished being cooked the buns are placed over the meat to soak up some of the flavor. They add some cheese and pickle and you have a White Castle. The best way to order them is to order 4 double cheese with and order of the krinle cut fries with cheese melted on them and a large coke. OH man is that ever the BOMB.

Now you can have them for breakfast, lunch or even dinner, but the best time to have them is after a night of heavy partying. They really top off the evening well. Did you ever see the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. The perfect ending. Well anyway, we were finally in St. Louis and were cutting across the city on I 44 when we came up on Lindbergh Blvd. A quick exit and the first right turn and we were there. Of course I had to wait in the truck (since I am a pig and they ave their rules) while they went inside and ate. Ray did bring me a sack load when he came back out.

I could smell them. That aroma can not be mistaken. Nothing else in this world smells the same as those tasty little sliders (they are also called belly bombers, stomach strippers, butt burners along with a whole list of other names) After 5 days on the road, bearing the hardship of lousy weather and bad roads, being left outside during mealtime, sleeping in the truck and being bored out of my F#$%!@# mind, I finally have them. As Ray handed me the sack full of those tonsil teasers along with my coke the only words I could say was “Thank You God”. The truck was fired up and we headed down the road. As I sat in the backseat I would slowly remove a burger from the sack, breath in the tasty aroma and enjoyed each heavenly bite until they were all gone. I washed them all down with the last of the coke.

“Pig, how where they”?

“Barrrrrrippp”, as I let out a load and thundering belch that rattled the windows of the truck.

“Glad you liked them Bud”

I was happy and content. The only thing better would be to get laid.

We continued to cruise home through Missouri. It was about Springfield when it all started. The castles had worked through the digestive systems of all three of us. Powered by onion and pickles the level of gas escaping from are asses was on the rise. The duration of fart blasting was a difficult contest to win,since all three of us were trying to outdo the other. Now those guys were able to produce some pretty good farts of a guy. However they just did have the mustard like I did (Yes mustard is the key ingredient in producing a good long lasting fart. I was farting so good that poor Sergio had to hang his head out the window until the air cleared. He is such an amateur. Well guys, that's the latest from the road. Tomorrow night we should be back home in SA. I'll let you all know what else happens.

Ride Hard or Stay Home

Pig

NASCAR UPDATE

Hey all you pig pokers out there,

It's time once again for some facts of life from the most non politically correct pig, but you gotta love me !

I was drinking beer & watching Letterman the other night and he had his top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers. Now some of you may be slightly offended. Well that's just too bad, I thought this was funny.  What makes this so funny is it is true!

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black
NASCAR drivers:

# 10  Have to sit upright while driving.

# 9  Pistol won't stay under front seat.

# 8  Engine noise drowns out the rap music.

# 7  Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants
at the same time.

# 6  They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.

# 5  Police cars on track interfere with race.

# 4  No passenger seat for the Ho.

# 3  No Cadillacs approved for competition.

# 2  When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN
NASCAR..............

# 1  They Can't wear their helmets sideways.

Gotta love Letterman

Ride Hard or Stay Home
Pig

Road trip day 3

Well Gang,

it is now day three of the road trip and things are not getting any better. Ray got in late last night and I had to sit outside in the rain. At least he brought me something to eat. It was potato skins, I love potato skins with melted cheese on top and sour cream. That made me feel better, that is until I open them up. They came with BACON BITS on top, what is up with that sh$%. Now I feel real good.

We hit the road about 6:30 am. I was stuck in the back seat with the luggage, it was raining and cold. Great way to start the day. To add to my misery, the guys skipped breakfast to get on the road. The weather was really depressing and the ride was even more boring. The state of Illinois is nothing more than flat farm land and the only thing you see is the curvature of the earth. There were speed traps everywhere with state cops and those new photo enforcement cameras. The icing on the cake was the speed limit was only 65mph. Land of Lincoln was more like the land of the living dead. I think I will kill myself before this trip is over.

It wasn't until we came into a town call Normal, IL. What is normal anyway. What a name for a town. Once we got past (being) normal Ray was able to turn off the windshield wipers. A short while later the sun came out and the sun glasses came on. The sunshine was beginning to make things feel better. We were coming up on Peoria IL and pulled into a rest area. When we got out of the truck this guys walks up and offers to clean our windshield. It turned out to be a motorcycle group working the rest areas with IDOT promoting motorcycle awareness to other drivers for the month of May. We all struck up a conversation with them and had a great time talking with them. I got my picture taken with them and we invited them to come to Texas. This day may start to look better yet.

We finally made it to the state of Wisconsin about noon time. We pulled off in a town called Bleot and into a buffet style restaurant. Bring it on, I'm hungry. Ray pulled the truck into a parking space and what I saw there I still cannot believe it. There was a young walking walking right towards us. She was holding a infant in her arms and after we all did a double look. We realized she had shirt up and was breast feeding the kid while she walked across the parking lot. This is so great!!! I jumped out of the truck, walked up to her and asked her if I could have a toke off of her other tit.

I woke up laying on the parking lot about 5-10 minutes later. I looked around and didn't see anyone around. I got up and walked into the restaurant and sat down with the guys. The waitress brought me a bag of ice for my jaw without me even asking. She said she felt sorry for me getting slugged like that in front of the whole restaurant and figured I needed it. She had never seen someone go down with one punch from a woman breastfeeding a baby before. Thanks Flo, I love your biscuits too.

Back on the road, we approached Milwaukee my jaw still hurt and I had a pounding headache. Ray took an exit just past the downtown area and turned left. I jumped up between the front seats, commented that I didn't see a gas station at this exit and asked why did we pull off. Ray just turned to me and smiled. Yep, in all of my pain and misery of getting my face rearranged I forgot why I was here. The boys felt bad for me and decided we should stop at the Harley Davidson factory for me to get my picture.

We found the factory without too much trouble. It only took 10 miles through the (brothers) side of town. A lot of stares were shot our way, it must have been the Texas plates on the truck. Well we did find it and got our pictures taken in front of it. I was happy, even if it was Sunday and the place was closed. I can now say I have seen the birth place of the Harley Davidson factory. We jumped back into the truck and made another trip back through brotherville back to the highway. Another hour in the truck and we were in Manitowoc WI.

Life is good. Enjoy the moment and savor the flavor.

Pig

Road Trip Day 2

Road Trip Day 2

Hey Everybody, Pig here again.

I have an update from the road. Yesterday we headed out from San Antonio to Wisconsin. The trip started out on a low note for me but as the day progressed, it got a little better. We woke up to rainy weather. I had to sleep in the truck and the sound of the rain hitting the roof was real cool and relaxing. After gassing up and a cup of coffee we were on the road by 6 AM. We continued up highway 69 through every small town in Oklahoma. It was the first time I have seen the Indian Nation casinos. I tied to get us some time to stop and do a little gambling but Ray-Ray said that we didn't have the time. We had to get to St. Louis in time for dinner. Well OK then.

We continued on down the road headed North when the ride was getting a little boring. It is not the same to ride in a truck as it would have been if we were on the bike. The only nice thing about riding in the truck was every time we hit rain, we stayed dry. To kill the boredom of the ride we had stopped at a gas station to fill up. I tried to get some beer for the road, but of course old Ray-Ray would have none of it.

I was beginning to wonder if there was anyway I can talk Ray-Ray into stopping at the Harley headquarters in Milwaukee tomorrow. The dreary, lifeless landscape of Oklahoma finally faded away to the hills of Missouri. We pulled into Joplin when I realized that I still had not eaten since the day before. We pulled into a Mc Donalds to get some of those great body killing fat burgers. And again, as I walked in, I was immediately escorted right back out again. Only this time, the guys brought me out some lunch to the truck.

Cruising about 80 mph did help make the drive a little shorter (and the lack of pit stops). We pulled into St. Louis about 3 pm. Rays family still live in St. Louis and he had made arrangements to have dinner with them. That meant I was stuck in the room. When we came in I saw where the motel bar was and decided I would entertain myself with a few beers at the bar. As Ray was in the shower, I pilfered a few dollars out of his wallet to pay for my upcoming adventure.

After Ray and Sergio left, I waited a few minutes for them to be good and gone before I headed down to the bar. I used the front door and headed over to a stool with my name on it. I shimmy up and sat down, saw the bartender and ordered up an icy cold one. The bartender took one look at me and again I was escorted out the door. No food, no beer and rejected again. I am REALLY getting tired of this crap. WTF Why won't they let me in. To make matters even worse, Ray had the room key. I was locked out. I thought about going down to the front desk to ask for another key. Maybe that wouldn't be a good idea, my luck has been really rotten lately.

As I waited outside, it began to rain again. Great, just F...... great. No food, no beer, no room and now it is raining. I should have stayed home. I never listen. This is just too depressing to continue. If tomorrow is not any better, I may just hitchhike home from here.

Ride Hard or Stay Home

Road Trip to Wisconsin

Did someone say “ROADTRIP” Oh Yes They Did !!!

The Pig is now out living free on the road once again. The other day, Ray told me he had to drive to some town to pick up a piece of equipment. Great, I just love getting out of town on the bike. I was gently informed that the bike was not being ridden and that I had to stay behind. I insisted to him I wanted to go but he just said no. Dejected, I had to accept his answer. It meant no ride trip, no nasty fart producing fast food and no looking into the car next to you for hot women. (It also meant that Stacey would be making me sleep outside to.) That was until I heard just where he was going. He said he just was going to a town called Manitowoc Wisconsin. Which is just 2 short hours north of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Do you all know what is in Milwaukee? Do you know?That's right my little buttercups, Milwaukee is the home town of Harley Davidson Motorcycles. Just how in the hell does Ray think he is going to drive by the home of Harley Davidson and NOT take me.

“Ray, I want to go”.

“No Pig”.

“Yes Ray, I'm going with you”

“No Pig, you are NOT”

This same type of request and refusal has happened so many times before. I never understand why Ray just doesn't just let me go. I will go if I want to. Ray then used a new line on me I was not prepared for.

“Pig, I need you to stay here and work around the shop. We have several things that need to be taken care of while I am gone”.

Dammit, how do I get around that one?

“Fine, I'll stay here,” Thinking of how I will pay him back real good.

Friday came and the time to leave was at hand, Ray kissed Stacey bye and headed out the door. I, on the other hand, was not present for all the fair wells, I was nowhere to be found. Ray jumped in the truck and headed down the road. He went over to the shop to pick up some guy (Sergio)who was going with him. The two of them headed out of San Antonio up I 35 towards Austin. It was around the north side of Austin when I came out from under Ray's jacket he keeps on the backseat and sat up looking out the window. It was a little while later when Sergio reached to the backseat to get a soda out of his cooler. He looked at me and turned around. A few seconds later he turned back and looked at me then turned back to the front.

“Hey Ray, did you know that there is a pig sitting on the backseat?”

“WHAT”?

“There's a pig on the backseat”.

“PIG, WHAT THE.......Why are you here, I told you to stay home.

I explained to Ray that I was going no matter what. He stewed over it for a few minutes then he finally let it go.

Sergio leaned back and introduced himself to me as we shook hands. Cool, now we all can get along. We cleared out past the traffic and Ray laid the hammer down to start making some good time.

We continued on through Dallas before we stopped for some dinner at LJS. I like the corn on the cob there all soaked up in butter. We walked in to order and of course, I was escorted right back out (No Pigs allowed). I'm really getting tired of being picked on like that. I went and waited inside the truck while they ate. They promised to bring me some to-go.

Thirty minutes later out comes Ray & Sergio headed towards the truck what appeared to be empty handed. Those lousy bastards forgot to get me something to eat.

“Hey, where mine”?

“You didn't give us any money”.

“Well I don't have any money”.

“You should have thought of that before you stowed away”.

Dammit, he was right again. Now I will have to pay the price for this little stunt. I just rolled over and decided to take a nap instead of arguing with him. I started to realize it might have been a mistake sneaking along this trip. Ray was not happy with me being there, I was broke, hungry, this just wasn't much fun.

A few hours later, we stopped for the night. To make matters feel worse, I had to sleep on the floor or I could stay in the truck. I chose the truck. It was a bad day made worse and I just said “F... it! I went to sleep in the back. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Pig, Where are you?

Hey, Hey, Hey all of you piglets out there

I'm Back, Yeah, it's me,Pig, and time for more oinking and boinking with the fat daddy himself. I would have written sooner but while I was finishing up my community service, someone thought it would be funny to change my password to my blog page. I won't mention any names of who (I know) did it, but you know how dumbass teenagers love to do stupid crap like that. Someone thought it was real funny watching me get pissed every time I tried to sign in. Then just to make things worse, this particular someone decided to leave me clues as to what the new password is (was). Want to guess what it was? Oh it was a real funny one. Someone decided that “FATBOY @2000 lbs” would be cute for me. Now after you all stop laughing at me, let me just say this “payback is a BITCH”!!!

Well that's all I have to say about that. Anyway, it's good to be back. I've been a little busy dealing with my probation, traveling, working and partying. So I haven't had much time to write let alone figure out changed passwords. I did have a chance to hook up with one of my followers. I was hanging out at Harleys & More one Friday afternoon when this guy came in and recognized me. We kicked back for a few and conversed. Art (my follower) was telling me how much he really enjoys my blogs and how I like to tell my stories. But then he asked me something that really shocked me. He asked me if I was interested in writing political blogs, claiming that I would be good at it. I just shook my head no and told him that Pigs Blogg is for the entertainment of political bloggers who need a break from the war and need a good laugh.

Well I may not be one of those pigs that is NOT politically correct and I never will be. I may not be very nice to women who don't find me attractive and I never will be. I may be a pig who will steal a friends motorcycle and go for a ride but hey, I always bring it back (just don't leave your key in it). I may be a pig that will always drink your last beer and not go buy more, but you will always love me. So for all of you decent, hard working, tax paying, all American republican right wingers, I will always stand behind you and support you and what you believe in. And when you need a break from the war, I will be here to give you some relief.

Pigs Blogg is the stories of pig gone wild in Texas. It will never be about sewing or how often the kid had his diaper changed the other day. (sorry ladies) It will always be about the adventures of the biker world and the cool sh$% we bikers get into. Road trips always provide the best stories and the stories never end there. Since I have been on my little break I now have a few more new stories to tell. All starting with a road trip. So be looking for my next blog, it will be a good one, I promise

Love and good cold beer to you all

Pig

What Is On The Other Side Of The Hill

Hey everybody, Ray here

Pig is taking a few days off and won't be with us today, so I decided to take his place. About a week ago, Pig decided to go and get a massage done. Seems that he has been a little tensed up lately and needed to unwind. The problem was he wanted to unwind a little more than the massage therapist was willing to provide. Pig claims he didn't realize that he walked into the wrong kind of massage studio. When he asked for a little more of a rubbing, the only thing he got was a free ride to the jailhouse from the cops. I guess some pigs never learn. Lucky for Pig, the judge took pity on him for being a dumb-ass and let him off with community service.

Today's Blog: Life is good.

Some of you may not agree with that statement. We all have a lot of things that are going on in our lives everyday. Some things are more difficult to deal with than others and I can understand that. But on a whole, life basicly is good. I know that our country is currently having problems with the health care issue along with government take over and that we must deal with that issue and WE WILL. But meanwhile let's take a moment to take a deep breath, relax a bit and refocus on some some things that we must not forget what we fight for everyday.

When I was a teenager, I rode dirt bikes with my older brother and his friends. One day we were out in the foothills of MO and there was this one hill I was afraid to go down. It had lots of loose gravel and rocks with lots of erosion ditches, ect. When I got to the hill I would simply stop and turn around. My brother being the adventurer that he was asked me why I did that. I told him of course that I was afraid of the hill. He sat me down and gave me some advice. He told me “Ray Ray, life is an adventure, go for it. Ask your self, What is on the other side of the hill?” I thought about it and and said “ Just more trails”. He looked at me and said “ How do you know without seeing it for yourself?” “Now get back on the bike and go find out what is on the other side of the hill and come back and tell me.”

“But what if I fall off the bike?”

“Get back on it.”

“What if I get hurt?”

“Wounds heal in time, besides chicks dig scars anyway.”

For every reason I could come up with not to go down that hill, he had a reason to try. So I did it. I got on the bike and I rode over to that hill. I looked down it. It seemed very steep and dangerous. I chose a line in which to ride. I started down that hill. By the time I got a little over half way down, I cracked open the throttle on the bike and BLASTED down the rest of the way. What was it that I found when I got there? More glorious wonders that are for me to know.

The point of this story is we need to remind ourselves that life is never easy. We will always have hills to climb up and hills to go down. How we make it happen is how we get through life. Life truly is an adventure. Go for it. For those of you who are fighting the good fight against Obama Care and that bogus health care reform. I say to you; keep fighting, I'm right there in the trenches with you. For those of you who have other fights to deal with. Hang in there baby Fridays a coming. I'm with you there too. Don't every give up on life. Life is what we make it. Always remember to take a little time and remember what you are fighting for. Stop and smell a flower. Kiss your wife or girlfriend a little deeper next time and add some passion to that kiss. Let her know what she means to you. Take at least one day off and get away from everything. No cell phones or internet, turn off the TV and go outside. Try saying hello to your neighbor. (that will probably freak them out) Take a drive in the country and enjoy the wild flowers,

take in some of God's scenery and marvel at the many gifts He has given us. Enjoy it. Laugh a little. Love a lot. Don't let life bring you down. Go find out what is on the other side of that hill.

Ray