road trip update

Hey Guys, Pig here. Time for another road trip update.

The last time we talked I left off that we were about to pull into Manitowoc, WI. Well to make a long story short, we did arrive at Manitowoc. We were there for tow days while Ray and Sergio took some training and picked up some new equipment. I wasn't allowed to tag along so my job was to man the hotel room and guard it will my life. My second job was not to get caught in the room by the hotel. I was able to accomplish that on the first day by watching TV and eating Cheetos all day. It was rather boring and I got into trouble from Sergio when he came in and saw Cheetos dust on his bed, so on the second day I sneaked out and headed over to Stocks Harley Davidson. I was lucky that the shop was only ½ mile from the hotel.

While I hung out, I was able to hook up with a couple of nice sales girls. Pam and Ashley were very nice to talk to. We had a great time exchanging stories of life on the road in our own states. I didn't know that they don't have a once a week bike night in Manitowoc. The girls got a little jealous when I told them about our bikes nights (multiple nights) and how much fun they are. Their type of bike night is jumping on your bike and riding to your favorite bar with no fun things to do but drink beer. It started to get late and I needed to go. As I headed out the door I was able to give each of the girls a kiss goodbye along with me phone number. I hope they come to Texas and give me a call.

The boys had finished up their stuff and they were ready to head home. The truck was loaded and we head out of town. We were pulling a 16' trailer loaded with equipment as we moved down I43 towards Milwaukee. I have to say this about Wisconsin, I love the state. They have such beautiful farms and country side. The people are great, so friendly and kind and the food is good. However, the roads on the interstate SUCK!!! Because of the freezing they get in the winter causes the roads to be VERY bumpy. Now when I say bumpy I mean you bounce so hard and so much that you can feel your kidney pile up in the back of your throat. We rattled down the road so bad, after 45 minutes of driving, Ray pulled into a Home Depot parking lot to check all of the nuts and bolts on the trailer. We drove to the Illinois state line and stopped for the night. We got a motel room at a place that looked ok on the outside but once we got into our room it was a different story. The boys were too tired to complain about the A/C not working and the plumbing leaks in the bathroom. They just crashed for the night. I choose to sleep in the truck. It was cool outside and I was able to avoid Rays chainsaw like snoring.

At 5:15 in the morning I was awaken with a suitcase being thrown on top of me (how nice of them) and we headed out. Doesn't anyone ever sleep late anymore?They really drive me nuts with that crap of getting up with the chickens. It takes all the fun out of life. Illinois still sucked with the speed limits and road construction. I was really glad to get out of there. As we got closer to St. Louis Ray said that we would stop at White Castle to eat. Now the day was looking better. For those of you who don't know what a White Castle is I shall enlighten you with detailed description that will give you the cravings. White Castle are a brand of hamburger that has been around for the past 50 or so years. You can only find them in certain northern states. They are square shaped about 2 1/2” x 2 1/2”. The meat is very thin and has five small holes in it. What makes a White Castle so good is the fact that they are steam cooked over diced onions. As the meat is finished being cooked the buns are placed over the meat to soak up some of the flavor. They add some cheese and pickle and you have a White Castle. The best way to order them is to order 4 double cheese with and order of the krinle cut fries with cheese melted on them and a large coke. OH man is that ever the BOMB.

Now you can have them for breakfast, lunch or even dinner, but the best time to have them is after a night of heavy partying. They really top off the evening well. Did you ever see the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. The perfect ending. Well anyway, we were finally in St. Louis and were cutting across the city on I 44 when we came up on Lindbergh Blvd. A quick exit and the first right turn and we were there. Of course I had to wait in the truck (since I am a pig and they ave their rules) while they went inside and ate. Ray did bring me a sack load when he came back out.

I could smell them. That aroma can not be mistaken. Nothing else in this world smells the same as those tasty little sliders (they are also called belly bombers, stomach strippers, butt burners along with a whole list of other names) After 5 days on the road, bearing the hardship of lousy weather and bad roads, being left outside during mealtime, sleeping in the truck and being bored out of my F#$%!@# mind, I finally have them. As Ray handed me the sack full of those tonsil teasers along with my coke the only words I could say was “Thank You God”. The truck was fired up and we headed down the road. As I sat in the backseat I would slowly remove a burger from the sack, breath in the tasty aroma and enjoyed each heavenly bite until they were all gone. I washed them all down with the last of the coke.

“Pig, how where they”?

“Barrrrrrippp”, as I let out a load and thundering belch that rattled the windows of the truck.

“Glad you liked them Bud”

I was happy and content. The only thing better would be to get laid.

We continued to cruise home through Missouri. It was about Springfield when it all started. The castles had worked through the digestive systems of all three of us. Powered by onion and pickles the level of gas escaping from are asses was on the rise. The duration of fart blasting was a difficult contest to win,since all three of us were trying to outdo the other. Now those guys were able to produce some pretty good farts of a guy. However they just did have the mustard like I did (Yes mustard is the key ingredient in producing a good long lasting fart. I was farting so good that poor Sergio had to hang his head out the window until the air cleared. He is such an amateur. Well guys, that's the latest from the road. Tomorrow night we should be back home in SA. I'll let you all know what else happens.

Ride Hard or Stay Home

Pig